


First Nights

by foxtrotblues



Category: Waitress (2007)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 07:52:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11527854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxtrotblues/pseuds/foxtrotblues
Summary: Jenna doesn't really know how to take care of Lulu but she is going to try anyway.





	First Nights

The first night after everything she couldn’t sleep. Dawn’s apartment was on the smallish size, but it had a decent kitchen. She knew enough of the layout to be able to grab ingredients without making too much noise. As she looked in the fridge for something to use she hoped Dawn wouldn’t mind her using her food. Dawn had been nothing but kind to her, Becky too and she had no idea where she would be without the kindness of her friends.  
For the first time in the last few hours everything was quiet and she was alone with her thoughts. She mixed ingredients and happened to glance at her reflection in the window. She looked like a mess. She forgot the last time she brushed her hair and there were shadows under her eyes. She was running on such little sleep. She wasn’t used to the sounds of traffic, the sounds of Dawn and Oggey in the next room. Part her her was to wound up, to many worries in her mind. She was scared that Earl might come to the door and demand her home. She was scared that she would be vulnerable from her emotions stretched tight she would say yes. She was also scared of Lulu. Checking on her every twenty minutes wondering if she was going to be a good enough mother for her. Wondering if she could raise her right so that someday she wouldn’t fall for somebody that would control every moment in her life. She wasn’t even more than seventy eight hours old and already she wanted so much for her.  
When Lulu started to cry she abandoned her pie making and picked her up, pacing trying to sooth her. She had no idea what she was doing and did what she saw other mothers who came into the diner do. Dawn poked her head out yawning “Everything ok?”  
“Were fine” she switched Lulu from one arm to the other “I got it handled.”  
Dawn looked sleepy and doubtful. “Take her for a drive my keys are by the door. Whenever my little brother couldn’t sleep mom would drive around town”.  
“Ok, are you sure? You trust me with your car?”  
“Sure that's what its there for”.  
Bless Dawn.  
She bundled up Lulu in more layers than she should have, double checked the car seat and with a bit of nervousness she got behind the wheel.  
It was strange driving a car again. Sure she drove one before she married Earl and sometimes Earl let her take quick trips to the grocery store to get beer when he was to drunk, but this was different.  
She found herself driving by her house, her old house, Earl’s house now and saw everything dark. She wondered if he was asleep or if he stayed out drinking all night again. Its not like he had anyone to come home to anymore. She remembered when they first moved in, the first night they sat on the porch counting cars and watching the fireflies. Back when Earl was kind and made sure she wouldn’t go to sleep without a goodnight kiss, who randomly surprised her with baking chocolate or some fondant that you had to go to that special store across town for. How quickly everything changed. Turning on her blinker she shifted lanes and got on the highway.  
She found herself driving around Stanton Grove. Nice manicured lawns, tree lined streets. She briefly wondered what house was Dr. Pomatter’s, No she couldn’t think about him. She was too emotional right now. She had ended it and that's that. Knowing him he’s was probably sleeping next to his wonderful wife and not giving her a second thought. It was a fling, an adventure and she desperately tried to push him from her mind and not think of the way he looked at her eating the moon pie in the hallway.  
She pulled of to the shoulder, turned the car around and drove back to Dawn's place. Dawns suggestion seemed to work and Lulu was fast asleep.  
She picked up her sleeping baby carefully not to wake her. She couldn't help but touch her soft hair wondering if her hair would be curly, would it be golden or honey like her's, or get darker as she got older and ended up looking like Earl.  
She finally fell asleep sitting next to the crib watching Lulu's chest rise and fall.  
Cal visited her the next morning barely recognizable in his street clothes, his wife hovering a few feet away.  
“I bought something for the baby” He thrust a stuffed bear she guessed Ethel bought for Lulu at her.  
"Thanks Cal"  
“I also went by your place and got some of your stuff.”  
“Earl let you get my stuff?”  
“Well it was all on the lawn so I didn’t have to ask him.”  
“Thank you”  
“Why didn’t you tell me he was a bastard”  
“I don’t know I thought…. I don’t know what I thought.”  
“Well if he comes to the diner or tries to bother you let me know ok.”  
“I will Cal.”  
“You make the best apple pie around and a damn good waitress. Do you know long it will take me to hire somebody else who knows her shit”.  
She smiled. That was as close as a complement she would ever get from that man.  
“Just rest and take care of that baby so you can come back and start making pies. Peoples been asking about you.”  
“I do have a pie I baked last night if you would like to take it in” she hurried to the refrigerator and handed him the pie she had made last night.  
Cal eyes never left the pie.  
Ethel grabbed the pie away from him “it's for the diner not for you”.  
She could feel the beginnings of a smile.  
After everybody left and it was just her and Lulu she shifted though the box. Some dresses she didn’t think she would ever fit into. A wedding portrait torn into shreds, broken knickknacks. All relics of a life she didn’t live anymore. On the very bottom was the pie form Dr. Pomatter gave her. She ran her fingers on the edges took a deep breath and put it back in the box.  
She tuned to look at lulu, who The way Lulu would make soft noises when she fed her,The way she swore she smiled at her. She wasn’t sure if a baby could smile but Jenna was still convinced that she did.  
Running her fingers on Lulu’s smooth skin amazed by her tiny fingers she promised she was going to make it all up for her. To reach her right from wrong. To become a person stronger than her. Maybe that could somehow makeup for how she felt about her those first nine months. Hopefully somehow she would learn how.


End file.
